Sometimes, I feel like I'm dying. I carry too many things.
I people watched the other day. I noticed three things:
1. People walking fast are the unhappiest.
2. People walking in groups are the happiest
3. People carrying a lot of bags look tired and unhappy.
I complicate my life. With school and work, I sometimes carry over 30 pounds with me. From backpacks to art frames.
And of course, the more I carry, the unhappier I am.
The other day I had finals, was moving, and was carrying so many bags. I was on the train when i left one of my bags there. I didn't notice until I got home. I had a bunch of art stuff in there and most weren't even mine. I had to explain to my professor what happened. I was embarrassed.
Another time, I was working on an artwork for weeks when I suddenly didn't know where it was. There went hours of work down the drain.
I also spent 4 hours on the phone trying to get a refund on some plane tickets. I didn't want to lose money. After 4 hours, the issue still wasn't resolved. How much do I value my time?
I can always make more money, but time I can never get back.
In the book The Things They Carried By Tim O'Brien, the soldiers held on to their belonging because it reminded them of home. Often, they needed something to keep them from losing their minds.
But it also got in their way. If they carried too much, they wouldn't be able to walk as much. And the enemy could easily get them.
But even emotionally. One of the soldiers kept carrying pictures and letters of a girl he loved from back home. Even though she didn't love him back. It was too much for him. And it took his focus away from the war. Until this caused him to lose some of his men. He eventually burned the pictures and letters.
The less I carry, the less I worry.
Picasso says to take off any unnecessary things. And it doesn't just apply to art.
What things in your life are you over complicating? Maybe there's a relationship you keep carrying even though it's bad. Maybe you hate your job and you need to move on. Or maybe you carry a lot of regret.
Sometimes, to start cleaning your room, you need to open your window first and let the light shine in.